Things I wish I had have made up 3

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. Jews are now going to Heaven. Years of worry are over. It is now okay to be a Jew. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Allah. But mostly, thank you Jerry Falwell. Falwell has been convinced that Jews will also get into Heaven. He didn't say anything about Hindus or Buddhists or Muslim, so take that you non-Bible reading world! I read it all at the Jerusalem Post website. Yippy! I am so excited.
But wait, there's more. A retraction. Sorry, Jews, still going to Hell. What a disappointment. Who will be sued. Jerry Falwell has issued a retraction himself no less. In a statement Falwell says, "Yep, y'all still going to Hell." Here is the interesting link: http://www.falwell.com/?a=p&content=1141242068
First cow raping and now this. It's been a hell of a bad day.