BIFF, Day Six

Today was an odd day, full of stops and starts. First of all, I didn't know what movies to see. There were a lot of them, but none that I just had to see, except for a Thai film, called "The Sperm." I went a little early to read some more of the descriptions of films and then decided to see a Japanese one called "Look of Love." There is two cardinal rules of filmmaking. One, you must be able to hear your actors. Two, you must be able to see them. This film let you do the first (when they were talking), but it was difficult to see anyone. This was either the most poorly lit film in human history or a stylistic nightmare. I was basically in a room with a blackened screen for 100 minutes, with the occasionaly bit of white to let me know there was an actor on the screen. Yet, I didn't leave. The story went nowhere, but I was hoping I would be left with something a little more than racoon stew and a woman having sex with a spy satelite. (Yep, that's what I said.) So would I recommend this one: I have a list of people I don't really like. Perhaps I would buy everyone of them a ticket and then lock them in and keep playing it over and over. Perhaps I will send that suggestion to Mr. Bush for his boys in Cuba.

The second movie I went to was the aforemented, "The Sperm."This was a Thai, science fiction comedy. Unfortunately, as I have said it was Thai, without English subtitles. So half the audience left. They had ordered the wrong print I guess. So I will never know what happens. I bet it was something no good.

So I went and tried to find another movie. There was a German film called "The Edge of Heaven." I wasn't originally planning on seeing it, but I am glad I did. The director won the Golden Bear at the Berlin Film Festival, and this film won the screenplay prizes at this year's Cannes Film Festival. It was a very interesting movie about Germans and Turks. There were interconnections and all kinds of weird stuff happening. Very serious drama, mind you, but one that made you wonder. It was the Death part of the director's trilogy of ideas. I will now have to go and get the first one. Oh, and it had lesbians. One of the other rules about filmmaking is this. If you are a male filmmaker, in the back of your mind, what you really want your female leads to do is to become lesbians. This film didn't stray from that model of successful filmmaking.

Unfortunatley the last film of the day tempted you with lesbianism, but didn't deliver. It was called "Take this Waltz." It contained three leading ladies, and one was obviously in love with the other, but in the end she went for the Vienna sausage. I have a feeling this might have been directed and written by a woman, for the first rule of female filmmaking is to make men frustrated. The best way to do that is to do what this film did. It was a French film, but everyone in it seemed clean, so I am wondering if that had to do with the American expatriate who it was about. There were a lot of words in this movie, which I usually don't mind, but this one kind of lost me. When it ended I was wondering "What in the hell was that?" But that is better than the ending of "Look of Love." When it ended I said, "'bout damn time." Actually at some of these movies, people have clapped at the end. With "Look of Love" there was more of a groan.

Well that was day six. Three more to go. Finally, today I saw a film book called "How to survive a film festival." I think it was written for aspiring filmmakers, like myself, but today it could have been given out to film watchers as well.

Well that is it for today. Bon chance.