Saddam's Surprising Admission Clears the Juice

These last ten years have been difficult ones for "the Juice." After years of being hounded by his former in-laws--who first accused him of murdering his ex-wife, and then sued him again and took his Heisman trophy as part of the settlement--today was a special and unexpected day. After years of proclaiming his innocence, no one expected that his day of victory would come from a courtroom on the other side of the world.
In a courtroom in Baghdad, before a hushed crowd, Saddam Hussein at first seemed to contradict himself, but then his words came out clearly. This wasn't going to be a day of tirades, it was time to come clean. "Yes, I guess you'd say I have a few things to confess to. One of them is the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson." The gasps that went out over the room could possibly even be heard in Southern California. But there it was, the confession that O.J. had been waiting for.
While Saddam Hussein was being ushered out of the courtroom, O.J. was seen celebrating from a country club in Florida. "The Juice" has spent the last ten years looking for the killer on golf courses throughout America. In a statement issued earler today O.J. said "One of the only leads I had into Nicole's murder was the word 'golf,' but it turns out that word was 'Gulf,' as in Persian Gulf."
While this case has now been solved, one still wonders why the murders took place. Was Nicole a Zionist or Kurdish agent? Was there some kind of hanky panky going on? Only time will tell and this reporter will be following all leads. Stay tuned.