Things I've learned in Thailand this time

Boy, has my friend Shane been hard at work. It looks like another sweaty day in the south. Actually I find it ironic that it is actually cooler today in Thailand than it is in Tennessee. Go figure. That global warming that Al Gore invented sure is messing with stuff.

Speaking of stuff, I have figured out many things on this trip to Thailand. For instance:

1. I like it here, but I don't know if this is where I want to live. As annoying as the Arabs are here, I kind of like living in Kuwait. I guess I feel I am reaching the kids somehow; and not in a "Lolita" typed way.

2. I am tall. I bend down all of the time and yet I still bump my head. Ouch. Fortunately, as my friend Larry told me years ago, I have a big, thick Viking skull.

3. I am really good looking. Women keep propositioning me all of the time. I really didn't know I was so attractive.

4. I like going to movies. I have lost count of how many I have seen since I was here. I have even seen some with kissing, unlike the ones I see in Kuwait.

5. I really need a suit. People keep coming up to me in the street and saying "Sir, you need a suit? Maybe it is where I am staying; or maybe I just need that suit, and 2 shirts and 2 pair of pants, and tie, don't forget the tie.

6. I wish Lebanese girls would come to Thailand. A lot of Arabs do, but just the ugly ones it seems. None of the attractive Lebanese ladies I see in Kuwait. You know I am starting to think Lebanese people aren't Arabs. I just wish the Israelis would leave them only.

7. Transvestites can get pregnant! I would have thought that was impossible but I saw it with my own eyes today. There was this "woman" who looked and talked like a man, but had a big fat pregnant belly. Darwin where are you when I need you.

8. Iced tea has a lot of calories. I was drinking mostly diet drinks before coming to Thailand but I have taken up old habits, liked drinking sweatened ice tea. And boy am I putting on the pounds. But at least here they are in kilograms.

9. I am addicted to books. I have tried to buy as few as possible but I am always tempted to buy more. Today I bought another one.

10. Jesus is costing me a lot of money! Jesus said we should give to all beggars; and while there are that many in Bangkok, the ones I do see are taking what I can give them. It is starting to add up.

Well those are some thoughts for today. I hope you are all well. And who are you people anyway.

Cheerio