Teddy Bear owners must die!

My favorite president is Theodore Roosevelt. They named a bear after him. Those people must be killed! How could they name a bear after my favorite American president. I forbid it! I must kill all teddy bear owners. You have been warned. If you own a teddy bear your days are number! I will kill you all!

Why not call them George Bears or Abraham Bears. William Jefferson Bears sounds fine. As does Richard Milhous Bears or Lyndon Baines Bears. But there will be no more Teddy Bears. Teddy Roosevelt built America into a great empire! We insult him by calling bears Teddy Bears. I forbid it forever.

You wouldn't have a Jesus Bear would you? Or a Buddha Bear? But yet you keep insulting my favorite president! ALL OF YOU WILL DIE!

If you think I am crazy then check this out: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/7112929.stm

Some new words

I have decided to create a few news words. It hit me yesterday when I saw the word "Bazaar." Hmm! That has two "a's" I gasped out loud. Really I couldn't even get my breath.

So here are my some of my new words and phrases:

Arabgance--The belief that you should be given whatever you want because of your social status or race.

Example: "I couldn't believe the arabgance of some of my students. They thought they should get an A because of their last name."

Bazaardvark--a person whose only purpose in life is to shop.

Example: "When I went to the Marina Mall I saw tons of bazaardvarks, with their Gucci bags and designer mobile phones."

Genetic slip and slide--Describes what happens when your whole society keep marrying first cousins. Lower down on the retardation scale than the "shallow end of the pool."

Example: "When I walk around town I see everyone in charge of the country is a member of the genetic slip and slide tribe."

On porpoise--To do something "accidently." Phrase used by environmentalists when they stretch the truth to further their efforts to do something good. Example: "Greenpeace rammed the Japanese fishing boat on porpoise."

Catfruit diet

Here is another strange dream I had last night. I was walking by a tree bearing fruit when suddenly a piece of fruit opened its eyes. It looked and sounded like a baby kitten hanging from the tree. The person I was with plucked one and bit in to it. "They are really quite delicious," he said while munching on the meowing kitty. I took one in turn and bit into it. It tasted like a persimmon with eyes and a little tail. I used to eat those a lot in Japan, and they were really delicious.

So I took another piece of catfruit and held it in my hands. It was really a nice piece of fruit, all purring and cute as a kitten only can be. After a while it stopped purring and closed its eyes. It turns out that the catfruit was alive until plucked from the tree. After that it started to die slowly (but didn't lose its flavor right away). When it fell down naturally, it would wander off for a while before dying. Where it died a new catfruit tree would grow.

I think this was one of the weirdest dreams I have had in years. I wonder what triggered it. I wonder if it is telling me something about my past or maybe about the future. Maybe I am just really messed up.

Keep dreaming.

Every six years

Poor India! Every six years they have to deal with my invasion. They must now be preparing for me to come in and eat all of their crops like the cicada.

Actually I wasn't planning on taking a trip during winter break but then a friend ask if I wanted to do something. And then I saw a BBC show on the Himalayan mountains with Michael Palin. Damn you Michael Palin! So now I am off to India for 15 days.


What am I doing, besides trying to avoid diarrhea? Well I will fly to New Dehli and then...


The adventures that might confront me are myriad. I will probably spend some time in the cold mountains, near Shimla and maybe Darjeeling. I would also like to see Varanasi and Calcutta and maybe the Golden Temple in Amritsar. So actually I have only one plan... I am flying to New Delhi.


So there you have it. Actually there isn't much there is there. So I am sitting at school listening to Ravi Shankar trying to get into an India mood. My stomach is also started to bother me, so maybe I am in the Indian mood already.


Namaste!

Dr. Ron Paul

Have you heard the news? Dr. Ron Paul has been raising a lot of money. Check it out: http://www.ronpaul2008.com/

What does this mean? Probably absolutely nothing. I think the good doctor will also admit to that. But what if it does mean something? What if the GOP nominates an anti-war candidate? Wouldn't that be something wacky. I wonder if the Democrats would come aboard and vote for him. Is this a Goldwater moment or a Howard Dean one?

Just interesting. Here is a great link that will explain the whole thing a bit better (in a humorous Tennessee sort of way):

http://www.salon.com/ent/video_dog/comedy/2007/06/11/paul/index.html

Is teaching difficult?

Teachers seem to have great jobs, except for being surrounded by dummies everyday. I guess that makes it difficult. I don't mind dummies, except when they want you to continually tell them how smart they are. Kind of the same way I feel about lazy people. I don't mind you being lazy, but please don't try to make me tell you how you are such a hard worker. I find that frustrating.


One of the problems in teaching is that no one really wants to hear the truth. No parent wants to know that their child is a little shit, though that might be what they are. Then when the same child is sleeping on the couch at age 38, wondering why he is unemployed, the parent wonders why is he still here? Let me tell you why: it's because he was a little shit at ages 13 through 18.




Fortunately for teachers even the biggest dunderhead graduates at about 18. I am sure most little 18 year old shits turn into 19 year old shit (and I have seen quite a few in my day), but at least at 19 I no longer have to deal with them.




Just recently a student goofed off and stapled her test the wrong way. She also stapled it three of four times so it was hard to take apart. She did all of this on purpose of course. When I took it apart and it ripped she complained. I told her if she hadn't stapled it like an imbecile then it wouldn't have ripped. What great offense she took to my comments. How could I call her an imbecile? Then I had a boy who acts up in class. When I wrote comments to his parents that said this what did he do? He acted up in class to complain about my telling his parents he acted up. What a pair of mooks.




To be honest: I think it is time for a long vacation, or maybe a year away from teaching. Today I actually met with the principals at the school to propose a sabbatical year off for all the teachers who have been here for a while. They seemed receptive. I wish there were one in place now. I think I am ready for one.

Let's reelect President Howard Dean!

It is hard to believe, but it has been four years since America's love affair with Howard Dean started. I can still remember buying the Time magazine with him on the cover. He was seen as a shoe-in for the Democratic nomination and the president, particularly since then President Bush was struggling with some many things that made Americans angry back then. And then Dean plowed into Iowa and New Hampshire like a blizzard easily winning both, before going on to rollup huge victories on Super Tuesday. He had some controversial ideas in 04, but America was ready for a new vision. That is why he defeated W. so easily. I am sure glad the Democrats decided to go with someone with a little edge to them, instead of for a conventional choice like Gore was in 2000. And I am really glad they didn't select someone like Kerry in 2004. Talk about a snorefest. He would have been the Democratic Bob Dole. I don't think the Democrats could have won in 04 with someone boring and conventional I am glad Dean was able to defeat him. I wonder who they will decide to run in 2012. Hopefully someone wonderfully progressive, not someone boring and old like Hillary will be then.

When you look at the Republican candidates who are running to replace him next year it makes one shake their head. I really don't think America is readiy for another Bush in the White House, even if Jeb Bush is the current GOP frontrunner.



So here's to President Dean! Good luck in the upcoming contest. I am sure you will continue being the most successful president of the 21st Century.

Year of the Golden Pig Reading 21: "The Chinese"

Every once in a while I want to move back to China. Even now I think about it. So I always have a few books on China laying around the house. Recently I finished this bit of reportage about life in contemporary China. Actually the book is now about seven years old so which means it is ancient history in Chinese terms, since that country is changing so quickly.

The author, Jasper Becker, is a reporter, and he examines what life is like in for all groups of people living in modern China. What he says isn't always too nice, but I think it gives the reading an honest reflection of what life is like there. With the corruption, pollution, injustice and poverty in China it is sometimes hard to stomach it all, but those things are what makes China fascinating and hard to breath in.

This book has left me thinking I might need to return there in the near future, to be part of such an exciting time. Compared to China, Kuwait is a sleepy little burg. Kuwait is safe and stable, but not too much of a challenge. Of course I know I can't just run back there without a job that will support me. One of the great joys of Kuwait is the money that is deposited into my bank account every month.

I don't know if I will ever return there, but the thought is always just in the back of my head. A friend in Shanghai recently told me that I should return, or at least come for a visit. Another friend is thinking of returning to China to start a restaurant in Xinjiang (that is where she was from before moving elsewhere). If you are thinking of going, this will help you understand the changes more. If you are not going you might still like to know more about the country from where you new boss will be from in the near future.