In this somewhat less than exciting blog I will examine the adventures that I have in life, mostly in front of the televison, while eating dinner or in my perpetual quest to finish all of my dammed grading. I hate grading!!!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Barack's Speech


Here is Barack Obama's speech from South Carolina. I have put what he really meant to say in bold.

Over two weeks ago, we saw the people of Iowa proclaim that our time for change has come. But there were those who doubted this country’s desire for something new – who said Iowa was a fluke not to be repeated again.

(But why did you vote for me in New Hampshire and Nevada? We could have been sealing our victory tonight if you were all out getting high. Damn college students.)

Well, tonight, the cynics who believed that what began in the snows of Iowa was just an illusion were told a different story by the good people of South Carolina.

After four great contests in every corner of this country, we have the most votes, the most delegates, and the most diverse coalition of Americans we’ve seen in a long, long time.

(But we won't try to look too black.)

They are young and old; rich and poor. They are black and white; Latino and Asian. They are Democrats from Des Moines and Independents from Concord; Republicans from rural Nevada and young people across this country who’ve never had a reason to participate until now. And in nine days, nearly half the nation will have the chance to join us in saying that we are tired of business-as-usual in Washington, we are hungry for change, and we are ready to believe again.
But if there’s anything we’ve been reminded of since Iowa, it’s that the kind of change we seek will not come easy. Partly because we have fine candidates in the field – fierce competitors, worthy of respect. And as contentious as this campaign may get, we have to remember that this is a contest for the Democratic nomination, and that all of us share an abiding desire to end the disastrous policies of the current administration.

(And we'd really like to have a Congress that is more popular than Bush. How can we be less popular than Bush? Yet we are.)

But there are real differences between the candidates. We are looking for more than just a change of party in the White House. We’re looking to fundamentally change the status quo in Washington – a status quo that extends beyond any particular party. And right now, that status quo is fighting back with everything it’s got; with the same old tactics that divide and distract us from solving the problems people face, whether those problems are health care they can’t afford or a mortgage they cannot pay.

(First we kill all of the lawyers, second all of the Clintons, and then we just socialize our medicine like they do in Europe. For fuck sakes people, get into the 20th century already!)

So this will not be easy. Make no mistake about what we’re up against.

(The fucking Clinton machine! That's what we're up against!)

We are up against the belief that it’s ok for lobbyists to dominate our government – that they are just part of the system in Washington. But we know that the undue influence of lobbyists is part of the problem, and this election is our chance to say that we’re not going to let them stand in our way anymore.

(We're up against Hillary cashing lobbyist donations faster than she can utter my whole name or tell the world I might have sold drugs.)

We are up against the conventional thinking that says your ability to lead as President comes from longevity in Washington or proximity to the White House. But we know that real leadership is about candor, and judgment, and the ability to rally Americans from all walks of life around a common purpose – a higher purpose.

We are up against decades of bitter partisanship that cause politicians to demonize their opponents instead of coming together to make college affordable or energy cleaner; it’s the kind of partisanship where you’re not even allowed to say that a Republican had an idea – even if it’s one you never agreed with. That kind of politics is bad for our party, it’s bad for our country, and this is our chance to end it once and for all.

(Hell, maybe I should just create a new party. Enough of the petty party bickering.)

We are up against the idea that it’s acceptable to say anything and do anything to win an election. We know that this is exactly what’s wrong with our politics; this is why people don’t believe what their leaders say anymore; this is why they tune out. And this election is our chance to give the American people a reason to believe again.

(Fucking Clintons again. Where is Monica when you need her? Can someone call her so she can keep Bill distracted for the next few weeks?)

And what we’ve seen in these last weeks is that we’re also up against forces that are not the fault of any one campaign, but feed the habits that prevent us from being who we want to be as a nation. It’s the politics that uses religion as a wedge, and patriotism as a bludgeon. A politics that tells us that we have to think, act, and even vote within the confines of the categories that supposedly define us. The assumption that young people are apathetic. The assumption that Republicans won’t cross over. The assumption that the wealthy care nothing for the poor, and that the poor don’t vote. The assumption that African-Americans can’t support the white candidate; whites can’t support the African-American candidate; blacks and Latinos can’t come together.

(But why, oh why, young people didn't you come out and vote for me in New Hampshire and Nevada? Were you out getting high? Having sex with your girlfriend? Watching TV? Tivo the damn show and vote next time!)

But we are here tonight to say that this is not the America we believe in. I did not travel around this state over the last year and see a white South Carolina or a black South Carolina. I saw South Carolina. I saw crumbling schools that are stealing the future of black children and white children. I saw shuttered mills and homes for sale that once belonged to Americans from all walks of life, and men and women of every color and creed who serve together, and fight together, and bleed together under the same proud flag. I saw what America is, and I believe in what this country can be.

(But mostly I saw some real shitty-ass schools.)

That is the country I see. That is the country you see. But now it is up to us to help the entire nation embrace this vision. Because in the end, we are not just up against the ingrained and destructive habits of Washington, we are also struggling against our own doubts, our own fears, and our own cynicism. The change we seek has always required great struggle and sacrifice. And so this is a battle in our own hearts and minds about what kind of country we want and how hard we’re willing to work for it.

(And if Edwards would drop out I might have a chance at winning. Is there any poor person that that man won't speak about? How many homeless people do I have to hear about? Drop out already and give me a chance to beat Hillary!)

So let me remind you tonight that change will not be easy. That change will take time. There will be setbacks, and false starts, and sometimes we will make mistakes. But as hard as it may seem, we cannot lose hope. Because there are people all across this country who are counting us; who can’t afford another four years without health care or good schools or decent wages because our leaders couldn’t come together and get it done.

Theirs are the stories and voices we carry on from South Carolina.
The mother who can’t get Medicaid to cover all the needs of her sick child – she needs us to pass a health care plan that cuts costs and makes health care available and affordable for every single American.

(France hasn't won a war since 1789 when they defeated themselves, and they have better health care than the USA. That's just fucked up!)

The teacher who works another shift at Dunkin Donuts after school just to make ends meet – she needs us to reform our education system so that she gets better pay, and more support, and her students get the resources they need to achieve their dreams.

(I wonder if she gets to take some donuts home with her.)

The Maytag worker who is now competing with his own teenager for a $7-an-hour job at Wal-Mart because the factory he gave his life to shut its doors – he needs us to stop giving tax breaks to companies that ship our jobs overseas and start putting them in the pockets of working Americans who deserve it. And struggling homeowners. And seniors who should retire with dignity and respect.
The woman who told me that she hasn’t been able to breathe since the day her nephew left for Iraq, or the soldier who doesn’t know his child because he’s on his third or fourth tour of duty – they need us to come together and put an end to a war that should’ve never been authorized and never been waged.
The choice in this election is not between regions or religions or genders. It’s not about rich versus poor; young versus old; and it is not about black versus white.
It’s about the past versus the future.

It’s about whether we settle for the same divisions and distractions and drama that passes for politics today, or whether we reach for a politics of common sense, and innovation – a shared sacrifice and shared prosperity.
There are those who will continue to tell us we cannot do this. That we cannot have what we long for. That we are peddling false hopes.
But here’s what I know. I know that when people say we can’t overcome all the big money and influence in Washington, I think of the elderly woman who sent me a contribution the other day – an envelope that had a money order for $3.01 along with a verse of scripture tucked inside. So don’t tell us change isn’t possible.

(Amen sister.)

When I hear the cynical talk that blacks and whites and Latinos can’t join together and work together, I’m reminded of the Latino brothers and sisters I organized with, and stood with, and fought with side by side for jobs and justice on the streets of Chicago. So don’t tell us change can’t happen.
When I hear that we’ll never overcome the racial divide in our politics, I think about that Republican woman who used to work for Strom Thurmond, who’s now devoted to educating inner-city children and who went out onto the streets of South Carolina and knocked on doors for this campaign. Don’t tell me we can’t change.
Yes we can change.
Yes we can heal this nation.
Yes we can seize our future.
And as we leave this state with a new wind at our backs, and take this journey across the country we love with the message we’ve carried from the plains of Iowa to the hills of New Hampshire; from the Nevada desert to the South Carolina coast; the same message we had when we were up and when we were down – that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope; and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can’t, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people in three simple words:
Yes. We. Can.

(Man I hope we can.)

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Summer already

Can you believe this? I am already writting about summer! To be honest, I cannot actually get on a plane and leave Kuwait until the 11th of June, but first semester of school is over, so the mind cannot help but flutter around thinking about the warmth and glow that all teachers get, not from the summer weather, but from the absence of kids in the classroom. (I am sure auto workers feel the same thing we the are unemployed.)

So what does summer hold for me this year? You know the usual suspects. Should I go to school? Should I take a course? Should I stay in Kuwait (please)? Should I go home? Should I just travel? Too many thoughts. I guess these thoughts will all flutter away next week with the whippersnappers return for round two.


Well that is just what I wanted to share with you (singular: that includes myself).

Saturday, January 19, 2008

It's starting to look a lot like McCain!

I think I might be voting for John McCain in the fall. I was hoping that Obama would come on strong but it looks like he is starting to fade. I wouldn't vote for Hillary if my life depended on it, but I could happily vote for McCain. He has some good ideas, shows strength and has a good sense of humor. His only drawback is his age. I think he will win the GOP nomination and pick Huckabee as his running mate. Well that is my prediction for today, anyway. I think even a few of my Democratic friends might support him over Hillary.

Year of the Golden Pig Reading 26: "Beyond 30"

The title of this book sounds like one of the you're getting older books, but it isn't.

When I was a kid I used to read a lot of science fiction and fantasy, and during that time I read a lot of books by Edgar Rice Burroughs, the creator of Tarzan (but surprisingly I haven't read a lot of Tarzan novels). "Beyond 30" was a book that ERB wrote in 1916, just before America entered World War One. It's premise is a look at what would happen if the great war continued and America cut off all trade and contact with the old world. In this novel we are shown what the world would be like two hundred years after this contact has been ended.

The novel is a little far-fetched, but presents some interesting ideas. Europe has become mostly barbaric. An empire has emerged out of Ethiopia and is conquering much of Europe. The Chinese has conquered most of Asia and are making inroads into Europe. And America has created a Pan-American Union from Canada to Tierra Del Fuego.

It would be interesting to re-imagine this novel and set it two hundred years from today. Maybe America has become isolated because of al-Qaeda, or something along those lines.


Still it was nice to read a small work of speculative fiction. Not the greatest of books, but food for thought (or at least fast food for thought).

Friday, January 18, 2008

Year of the Golden Pig Reading 25: "The Israelis"

You might be wondering why I am still reading books for the Year of the Golden Pig. Well the new Chinese year doesn't start until February this year, so I have a little time left.

Well I have finished my 25th book, which was my stated goal. The 25th one was a study of what it is like to be an Israeli. It looked at all of the groups that make up the nation, some religious, some secular, some Jewish, some Christian, Muslim or other. It even looked at drug dealers, prostitutes and homosexuals.

It was surprising in many ways, but not particularly revealing unless you knew nothing about the nation. I won't tell my kids I read it since I cannot say the word "Israel" legally in a classroom in Kuwait. Even if I am reporting a news story I am supposed to change the word. We have a problem every year with our class schedule books because they list "Israel" as a proper noun (instead of an improper noun).

I think my kids could learn a lot from this book. For instance, the could learn how many Jews in Israel are also Arabs. The government here wants to tell you only one side of the story and doesn't ever mention how many Jews were kicked out of Arab lands after the 1948 Arab-Israeli war. By focusing on just one side, I guess everyone can feel good about themselves, keep on hating Jews and keep going home and beating up your wife (or wives, perhaps).

I have learned a lot from living here. Unfortunately, I don't know if I can say the same for many people I have been teaching.

Well that might be the last book of the Golden Pig, but I guess there might be time to squeeze a few more in in the next few weeks. Until then, over and out.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Why?

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Oh yeah, it's just another election year where I will end up voting for the Republicans. I must give the Democrats credit, though. They continually disappoint me.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Obama did it! Now get ready for the disappointment

Every four years I get excited about the Democrats (except during the Age of Bubba). I guess at heart I am fairly liberal. But then the Democrats screw up and nominate you know who (see picture). I hope this year will be different.

Of course, maybe it is time to move to Pakistan. They have family politics all figured out. Key steps to this kind of politics is: 1. Die, then 2. Give your wife or kid the job. I think that America is sometimes starting to follow this type of politics. At one point it looked like the Bush-Clinton years would continue forever. Can you see Hillary holding on as Presidentress for 8 years, then turning the job over to Jeb Bush for the years 2017 to 2025. Then giving it to Chelsea from 2025 to 2033. Then give it back to Ricky Martin Bush for 2033 to 2041. Surely someone's babies would have grown up by then.

Now maybe that will change. Or maybe I will just be disappointed. If Obama wins I might even think about moving back to America, going to Portland where my friend Larry lives and hook up with that coffee girl he ruined my chances with so many years ago. Of course I guess it all could just be a dream though.


So hats off to Mr. Obama. Keep up the good work man. If not I might just have to move to Pakistan.

Top Ten Signs You're an Al Qaeda member

A friend sent me this one. I thought it was kind of funny Of course, now I am a target.

You Might Be a Member of the Taliban or Al Qaeda if...

10. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

9. You own a $300 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

8. You have more wives than teeth.

7. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

5. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry ammunition in your robe.

4. You've never been asked, "Does this burka make my ass look fat?"

3. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

2. You've never uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."

1. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon unclean.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Crunch Time in Iowa

Well here we go: another chance for me to be politically disappointed. Every four years something happens that just makes me mad. Usually a candidate who I like seems like they are going to have a chance and then the establishment candidate wins. This year I think Barak Obama would be a good choice. He has fresh ideas and this means I will like him and he won't win.

I would like to see him win and Edwards to come in second (actually I would really like Joe Biden to come in second, but that would take a miracle). But I am sure Hillary will somehow pull out the win and then go on to secure the nomination. And yet another election cycle will go by and I will end up voting for the Republicans.


Well here is to Barak Obama! You can do it, man. (And by do it I mean you can lose and disappoint me.)