Things I wish I had have made up 4

Not that this isn't true. It could very well be. I love this website. I am mostly publishing this so I will remember it. If you are interested in learning something amazing as well click here: http://www5.ocn.ne.jp/~magi9/isracame.htm

I remember carrying an omikoshi in Japan but I never knew why it was more special than I had even imagined. You too can gasp in the wonder of wonders if you click the above link.

So what are you waiting for: an invitation?

Countries, Territories, assorted rare states I have visited 7

Actually I wanted to go to Spain. It was 1987, I had joined the Air Force and like Ernest Hemingway, I wanted to run off to Espana and meet the Spanish ladies, drink the wine and watch the bullfights. I was so close. Basic training was over and I was finishing up tech school waiting for my assignment. Then a friend of mine was given orders to the airbase in Madrid, Spain. I got my orders and asked him if he wanted to exchange. I was given orders to a small base in Misawa, Japan. Misawa, Japan! No one had even heard of it. Why was I going there.

I arrived to the coldest winter experience that I have even lived through. Ten feet of snow that first winter. We had a blizzard on the 1st of November. I moved into the dormitory and hated my job. But I loved living in Japan. I would go eat the ramen, hang out in the bars with friends, and go to check out the local hotsprings. They were heavenly.

After two years I had to go back to Texas. I missed Japan something terribly, and ended up going back, but that is another chapter for another time. I ended up loving life there in Misawa. I still miss it terribly.

Where have I been?

Where have I been? Kuwait of course. I am not in this photo.

Okay, I have been off line for a while. I don't know what has happened to me. Must be the rigors of work. Actually I have just been a little too busy for my own good. Hopefully soon I will be posting on a more regularly basis. Of course it would help if people were checking on a more regular basis as well.

The Top Five Greatest Upsets of all freaking time

Number 5 (1948) The Israelis beat the Arab Horde
Okay, so the Jews had God playing on their team, so this one might not be fair. Their team, though, took a lot of hits in the 1930's and 1940's, so no one thought they would come back and win. But after a difficult first half, they managed to pull off an upset for the ages.

Number 4 (1980) USA Hockey team beats Soviet Union in Winter Olympics
Okay, so it is for a sport that no one likes. But even I was excited by this one. Since then, I don't think I have ever watched a hockey game. Please don't make me.

Number 3 (1975) The Vietcong beat the USA in Men's Bullet Shooting and Embassy Evacuation World Championships
Everyone was stunned at this one. The Americans had an amazing record coming into this event. They only had one tie against a feisty North Korean team, but that was way back in the the 1950-53 competition. The USA team was fit, trim, well armed, but yet, somehow they couldn't pull it off. Many experts say you have to give the victory to Coach Ho Chi Minh, who was technically dead when the victory was achieved. Yet his memory seemed to fire up the young men on his team. Kind of like an Asian Knute Rockne Story.

Number 2 (1969) The Jets Beat the Colts 16-7 in Superbowl III
This is my first sports memory, and it is a good one. I was three and a half and Joe Namath predicted this victory. No one believed the AFL could pull it off, but when the smoke had cleared, the victory that Namath predicted came true. Then he went on to make shaving cream commercials, wear panty hoses and light up Broadway. Hey, we all make mistakes. But this upset is definitely a keeper.

Number 1 (2006) Crash wins Best Picture at Academy Awards
It looked like Brokeback Mountain had it all sewn up, but then out of nowhere "BAM"! Just like a car crash, you can never prepare for it. I don't even know if Ang Lee had his airbag on. Well Brokeback Mountain still won a few awards, but not the big one. I was shocked. Still am, actually. I need to call my insurance agent.

Korean Scientist comes up with new way to produce gas: Korean people

Hwang Woo-suk has to be Korea's most popular scientist. First he came up with a way of cloning dogs. He promised every Korean family would have "Two dogs in every pot, and a car in the garage." While he hasn't yet come up with a way to guarantee a car for every Korean (or a garage, for that matter), he did deliver on his dog pledge. Koreans everywhere are licking their lips in anticipation of upcoming dog feeding frenzies.
Then he came up with another great idea. Let's clone Koreans. In one of the world's much overcrowded countries this is a great idea. Since most Koreans currently use just one of three surnames, Hwang Woo-suk decided to clone three more. So move over Mr. and Mrs. Park, Lee or Kim, here comes Mr. and Mrs. Kark, Pee and Lim. These are truly exciting times for the people of the Korean peninsula.
But the best is yet to come. In an announcement from Seoul today, Hwang Woo-suk has revealed that he has come up with a new fuel source: Korean people. According to the scientist, "Koreans fart a lot, and I have come up with a way to collect that gas." Mr. Hwang then went on to say "Koreans are known for their love of eating silkworms, dogs and live squid, but their favorite food has to be kimchi, which is what give Koreans that extra edge when it comes to producing gases."
Already, news of the professor's breakthrough has spread throughout the peninsula. Kids have been signing up in record numbers to do what they do best: create the gas that Korea is going to need in the future to help support all of those Mr. and Mrs. Karks, Pees and Lims when they are putting cars in their garages and dogs on their fryers. These are great days indeed for the Korean nation. Only time will tell how this breakthrough will affect the world's economy, but this reporter will keep following this story to see if it comes out as planned.

Saddam's Surprising Admission Clears the Juice

These last ten years have been difficult ones for "the Juice." After years of being hounded by his former in-laws--who first accused him of murdering his ex-wife, and then sued him again and took his Heisman trophy as part of the settlement--today was a special and unexpected day. After years of proclaiming his innocence, no one expected that his day of victory would come from a courtroom on the other side of the world.
In a courtroom in Baghdad, before a hushed crowd, Saddam Hussein at first seemed to contradict himself, but then his words came out clearly. This wasn't going to be a day of tirades, it was time to come clean. "Yes, I guess you'd say I have a few things to confess to. One of them is the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson." The gasps that went out over the room could possibly even be heard in Southern California. But there it was, the confession that O.J. had been waiting for.
While Saddam Hussein was being ushered out of the courtroom, O.J. was seen celebrating from a country club in Florida. "The Juice" has spent the last ten years looking for the killer on golf courses throughout America. In a statement issued earler today O.J. said "One of the only leads I had into Nicole's murder was the word 'golf,' but it turns out that word was 'Gulf,' as in Persian Gulf."
While this case has now been solved, one still wonders why the murders took place. Was Nicole a Zionist or Kurdish agent? Was there some kind of hanky panky going on? Only time will tell and this reporter will be following all leads. Stay tuned.

Things I wish I had have made up 3

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. Jews are now going to Heaven. Years of worry are over. It is now okay to be a Jew. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Allah. But mostly, thank you Jerry Falwell. Falwell has been convinced that Jews will also get into Heaven. He didn't say anything about Hindus or Buddhists or Muslim, so take that you non-Bible reading world! I read it all at the Jerusalem Post website. Yippy! I am so excited.
But wait, there's more. A retraction. Sorry, Jews, still going to Hell. What a disappointment. Who will be sued. Jerry Falwell has issued a retraction himself no less. In a statement Falwell says, "Yep, y'all still going to Hell." Here is the interesting link: http://www.falwell.com/?a=p&content=1141242068
First cow raping and now this. It's been a hell of a bad day.

Things I wish I had have made up 2

This has be one of the saddest stories I have ever seen. It is one thing for UFOs to fly across the universe, just so aliens can stick something up my ass; but this is too much. Aliens leave our cows alone! There I've said. I hope this doesn't come back to haunt me. Do aliens have the internet? Will they be reading my blog? Will anyone be reading my blog? So many questions. So few answers. Anyway, if you have a packet of tissues, and feel like weeping, you can find the whole terrifying story at this link: http://www.cowabduction.com/
God bless America's cows. And save them.

Countries, Territories, assorted rare states I have visited 6

I was sixteen and my dad let me buy a Playboy magazine! We were in West Germany, in a small border town that had an alcohol supermarket. Some of my family from Denmark were looking for liquor. They were going to sneak as much across the border as possible. My Danish relatives knew that someone would get caught on the way back, but that was the price that had to be paid for cheap booze. They bought their stash, put bottles in purses, pockets and pouches. I only carried my Playboy, in German no less. When the border guards came on, everyone declared they weren't carrying extra liquor. He "believed" most people, but then asked a few people to open their bags. When he discovered extra alcohol, they had to get off the bus and pay a tariff. The rest of the Danes--my family included--avoided the tax. There was no tax on nude women, however, this being the Danish border and all. All in all, I found West Germany in 1982 to be an amazing place. I must have spent two hours there.